5 Steps to Victory - Step Two

Even in laughter the heart may ache,
and joy may end in grief.

Proverbs 14:13


One of the most difficult things I have had to learn in this valley was to be vulnerable and weak. I have always hated to think that I may have caused anyone any trouble. So admitting to others that I was struggling was very hard for me to do. Opening myself up, being honest about my depression, letting people see my tears - all of this was completely outside of my comfort zone. But I have learned that trusting and following Christ with complete abandon has never involved my comfort zone!

As God started to pull everything together and prepare me for my next big step of faith, I began to really grapple with reconciling being vulnerable about the conflict still raging inside of me and walking in victory no matter the cost. As I wrote in "Step One," I knew that I was to be obedient. But I was so worried about looking to others like a hypocrite.

How can I be rejoicing in the Lord and still claim to be a wreck on the inside?

What if people think I am faking one emotion or the other just to get some attention or pity?

God quickly and gently led me to the verse above. It doesn't matter what other people think as long as I know that I am being obedient to what God has called me to do. And I know that God is calling me to praise Him in this valley. And my heart can still be aching when I am laughing. The valley is not generally a place of laughter and celebration....unless it is laughing in the Lord and celebrating my salvation. My heart still aches many days. What has changed? This is what has changed:

"When I think about the Lord,
how He saved me, how He raised me,
how He filled me up with the Holy Ghost,
how He healed me to the uttermost...

When I think about the Lord,
how He picked me up and turned me around
how He placed my feet on solid ground...

It makes me wanna' shout,
Hallelujah! Thank You, Jesus!
Lord, You're worthy of all of the glory
and all of the honor and all of the praise."

God has not called us to be happy. God has not called us to follow Him down a path free of obstacles. He knows what lies ahead. And He goes before us, leveling the mountains we need not face and giving us the strength to climb the ones we must. God has gifted us with the most precious of gifts - His son. And that is enough to get my heart to laughing, regardless of the turmoil in my heart!

It is my prayer that you would be encouraged to know that God sees your tears. God hears your cries for help. God knows the pain in your heart. And He is urging you to praise Him in your storm. Trust that His plan is bigger. Know that His plan is better! And worship and honor Him even if your heart is aching!

(I would love to know how I can pray for you, my faithful blog readers. I sincerely believe that God has brought me to this point in the valley so that I might share my story to encourage other believers who find themselves trudging through the valley. Know that you are not alone and that victory is yours in Christ Jesus!)